Tag: elation

Dancing dreams…

original dancerTonight, I would love to go dancing.  I would put on my boots of power, thick tights (because it’s below zero outside), a nice skirt, a black blouse a friend gave me with a silky black shirt over top that has gold and cream designs around the neck and buttons.  All of which would be covered by a jacket and scarf until I get to where ever it is I would go.

My hair would be exactly as it is now – pulled back to the nape of my neck, but still waving and curling enough to be interesting.  Also, that way it would be more invulnerable to the pressure of a hat.  Now that I feel more comfortable in make up, I wouldn’t mind showing off my face-painting skills.

I long to laugh with abandon, to be drenched in music so loud my hearing is impaired for at least a couple of hours after leaving, to kick up my heels as best I can given the awkwardness, the lack of balance and the general graceless of my legs.  dance 2 cardMost of all, I want to feel such freedom and peace, that I won’t care about those impediments I just listed.  Tonight, I think I just might be able to manage burning bright without needing to crawl back into shyness as a reaction to over-exposure.

However, it is below zero outside, with a wind chill that feels like -20.  I am busted for the next few days.  And, most important of all, I’ve been having more problems walking and negotiating space today than I have in awhile. This afternoon, I had to move pottery out of a gallery that had closed for the winter and the effort left me in trembling pain – although, thank God, I didn’t drop any of the boxes taking them to the car or then taking them into the studio.

Nevertheless, it all adds up; I am being sensible even though it doesn’t feel as satisfying as my dreams of dancing.  I am staying here at home, playing music so loud that I expect the neighbors to complain.  The animals keep glaring at me, determined not to join in the dancing.  Every once in awhile I twirl and grab onto some piece of furniture before I go down.  Mostly, I am letting the restless desire pass through me while singing out my gratitude for its presence.  There have been many days when I did not have the heart to desire company, or dancing, or to be able to dream of risking that once outside in the world I would shine rather than fall.