Tag: seduction

i ask again

poem: the thief

If i had no bills to pay,
i would spend
a month
locked away,
writing feverishly,
ignoring
all the pain
and distraction
so that these stories
can be finished.

This is what i crave,
especially now
that i am too disjointed
to fulfill my dreams
effortlessly.

For the first time,
i require stillness
and quiet
to coax
this reluctant lover.

Writing
has to be
seduced.

All of the odd jobs
that i use to survive
feel like betrayal;
i seem incapable
of meeting
my unrealistic standards
because these words
constantly
fondle me.

So, i am again a thief,
stealing time away
from the vital,
the necessary,
and the sane
to dance
with this ink
flowing from my pen.

16 december 2015

Not enough time nor wisdom

Just a quick note, because I have a kiln that needs to get unloaded, a sculpture that wants to be finished (before I drop her again, she’s already had to have her hands reattached today) and a huge amount of pottery that I have to throw.

My being has been thrashing about a bit.  The last weeks of December and the first week of January were overwhelmed by bad weather, the ice storm and then wretchedly cold weather.  After that passed, I enjoyed a week of awesome throwing, before I became consumed with end of year/beginning of year small business chores.  Now, I am finally at a place where my creative work can start up full speed again.

Only, I am exhausted!  Even though my heart is singing and I feel wildly optimistic today, I cannot deny that my body is dragging along grumpily.  Twice my eye makeup has been ruined by the tearing of fatigue; my coordination is off because I am barely able to manipulate my limbs.  And, making me wonder if this is partly psychosomatic, I have a story that I want to work on in the worst way.  One of the characters had been troubling me – he had shown up without any warning and I had no idea who he was or what he was doing there – only now I think that I might have a glimmer of what’s going on with him and why he effects the world around him as he does.  The only way to know for sure is to spend several hours of my life writing.  To me, that would be the most decadent joy.

Alas, it is also exactly what I should not be doing today.  I do not have enough time right now – if I do not throw today, my firings will be delayed.  Procrastination now will have a bit of snowball effect over the next few weeks.  Other obligations are a higher priority.

However, I think I might lack the wisdom to deny myself the story.